Wednesday, April 15, 2015


If Luke Skywalker had been a soap-opera watcher (did they have soaps a long time ago in a galaxy far away?), he'd have had some inkling that the guy he hated most in the world was likely his long-lost daddy. It's kind of a soap-opera given. And yet, the characters involved still appear to be surprised. Every. Single. Time.

This week, it was Days of Our Lives John's turn. Remember Paul? The guy you chewed out for seducing your married, step-grandson, Will? Well, surprise, John - Paul's your son! Congratulations! What dad doesn't want a son who's a professional baseball player?

And their little squabble over Will isn't all that bad. It's not like when upstanding (with just enough beard scruff to keep him "edgy") cop Bo found out that Victor, the criminal mastermind he'd been trying to bring down and who'd tried to kill him on numerous occasions, was his biological father. Victor wasn't too thrilled about it, either. Especially when Bo pretended to be warming up to Newfound Daddy Dearest. But it was only so he could dig up evidence to put Victor behind bars for good.

On General Hospital, upstanding (with just enough hairstyle scruff to keep him "edgy") cop Dante was also determined to see mob kingpin Sonny rot in prison. He went by the book, did his homework, got a warrant and everything. He told Sonny he was under arrest. At which point, the mobster whom half of Port Charles swears is really the most noble and decent man in town, shot him in the chest. Dante's mother, Olivia, freaked, and blurted out that Sonny was Dante's father. Sonny then promptly declared his love for the boy. Because that's what noble and decent men who shoot cops in the chest apparently do.

Like Bo and Dante, who both found out they were really part Greek (maybe that explains the sexy scruff), The Bold & the Beautiful's Ridge also acquired a new ethnicity when his mother's old friend, the vaguely shady Massimo, turned out to be Ridge's biological father. Ridge didn't necessarily want Massimo to go to jail. He just wanted him to stop butting into Ridge's relationship with Brooke. Later, once the two had gotten to know each a little better, Ridge wanted Massimo to keep his other son, Nick, away from Brooke. (The fact that Brooke, herself, chose Nick was of no relevance to Ridge.) Ridge threw the mother of all hissy fits, blamed Massimo for his screwed up love life, and went back to being a full-time Forrester. These days, he's fighting his stepbrother for control of the family empire with nary a mention of his Italian blood ties.

Of course, lest you think that soap-opera parent/child feds are limited to newly discovered fathers and sons, rest assured, there are plenty of mothers and daughters in the mix, too.

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