STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS

GL's Dinah Marler (Gina Tognoni) has done some pretty rotten things in her life. She's stolen money, tried to seduce her mother's husband, killed a man, stolen Cassie's identity, then tried to kill her, too.

But nothing, nothing compares to the evil deed Dinah will commit on the Tuesday, October 16th episode of Guiding Light. On today's episode, Dinah pulls her young half sister, Maureen, out of a private school exam.

How brain damaged is this woman? Does she not know how hard private school admissions are these days? Does she not care that Maureen's entire future rests solely on the results of this test?

Without the sort of elite education offered by the internationally renowned Lincoln Prep, how will Maureen manage to graduate medical school in a mere few months, like Rick Bauer? Or become president of Spaulding Enterprises without having ever finished college, like Phillip Spaulding? (Granted, the best friends ended up graduating from Springfield High after being kicked out of Lincoln Prep, but they both probably leave that part off their respective resumes).

On the other hand, Dinah spent her high school years as an unhappy carnie and Harley Cooper skipped Senior Madness in favor of giving birth to Daisy in the back of a car (she did make the prom, however, where Alan-Michael's idea of a joke accidentally voted her Queen). And they both still got a chance to be CEOs of Spaulding.

Beth Raines actually graduated high-school (and was even legitimately Queen of her Prom). But the best she could do professionally was Director of Marketing and Spaulding Board member. Ha!

Reva Shayne didn't need a college (do we even know if she has a high school one?) degree to to become a journalist at WSPR, and all Cassie had under the Education heading was "can take her clothes off to music" when she partnered with Olivia in the Beacon.

Now Olivia strikes me as someone with an entire closet full of impressive diplomas. And what good have they done her, exactly?

So maybe Dinah has the right idea, after all. Hey, teachers, leave Maureen Reardon, alone.

The girl doesn't need a formal education. She needs to learn how to survive and get ahead, Springfield style. And who better to school her in that, than her big sister, Dinah?

But, will Vanessa (Maeve Kinkead) and Matt (Kurt McKinney) agree? Tune in to GL today, and find out!