Monday, October 17, 2011


“I used to never know what to say when someone died either," Amanda confessed. "My dad, my Grandma, Ryan, Vicky, Jake, Jenna… I was completely tongue-tied. Even last year, with Gregory. I used to think that in order to comfort someone, you had to distract them. You know, like when a baby is crying and you wave a shiny object in front of their face?”

Alice smiled faintly at that.

“Turns out I was wrong. Allie taught me that. After Gregory died, all she wanted to do was talk about him. I kept trying to redirect her, figuring why let her wallow in sadness? It couldn’t be good for her. But she wasn’t wallowing. Talking about Gregory made her happy. I don’t know why I never realized that before. When you love someone, you want to tell other people about how wonderful they were so that those other people might see them through your eyes. That doesn’t change just because they’re dead. If anything, it makes you want to talk about them more, to bring them back to life, even if it’s just for a few minutes.”

“Nothing will bring Spencer back,” Alice shook her head.

“No. But, I’ll tell you the truth, Alice: I am so jealous of what the two of you had. He adored you. And not just in a passing infatuation sort of way. Spencer looked at you like you were everything he’d ever dreamed of. No, like you were more than he’d ever dared dream of. You told me once how you hated being put on a pedestal. How Spencer was the first man who didn’t. Well, it’s obvious why. He didn’t need to. A pedestal doesn’t do anything but insert distance between people. And Spencer wanted you with him every moment. The real you, not some ideal he’d created in his head, but the woman he fell in love with. You two had the kind of relationship most people never get. You saw each other for who you were, and you accepted each other, no lies, no illusions, no excuses. I want to know how you did that. I’d give anything to follow in your footsteps.”


Donna fills Matt in on their next step while Jeanne receives an out of the blue offer, Kevin sees a new side to Amanda, Charlie wants an answer from Kirkland, GQ pushes Allie too far, Rachel attempts to make things right with Jamie, and Frankie finally comes face to face with Zeno.

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