Wednesday, October 01, 2008

REPORTS OF MY DEATH...

Tom Titone appears on As The World Turns as a lawyer who reads James' will to a shocked Paul on Wednesday, October 8.

Ah, James... "Dead" again, are we?

What are you up to now? Six?



Let's see, there was the falling from a plane in 1983 while Gunnar valiantly tried to save you. How clever of you to be secretly wearing a parachute!



Then, in 1987, they found your charred, bullet ridden corpse after the fire at Ruxton Hills. Barbara stood trial for that "murder."



In 1989, we all saw your helicopter go down into the Hudson River. No one could survive a plunge like that. If the impact and freezing water didn't get you, the pollution certainly must have.



Nope. Come 1989, it was young Paul's turn to stand trial for pumping some lead into dear old dad. He'd been having an affair with your ex-concubine Emily. You weren't pleased. You expressed your displeasure by trying to choke the life out of the little Stewart slut. Paul expressed his displeasure by picking up Hal's gun and firing.



In 2005, there was another cabin fire. (Aren't little Stenbecks taught never to play with matches?)

And now... A fall from a lighthouse.



Yeah, that's really gonna stick.

So, James' heirs: No matter how shocking the news that lawyer reveals next week (side thought: How much money has this guy made just reading and revising James' will over and over again? Maybe he's the mystery person who keeps reanimating James. Can you think of anybody with a stronger motive?), I wouldn't get too attached to anything James leaves me. Chances are, its only on loan.

He'll be back.

"Hellllooooo, Audience...."

2 comments:

Miss Mary said...

I love this article!!! You really know your "James"... and your "Jamesisms!"

"Hellooo audience"... LOL!!!

schiffeg68 said...

I have no doubt that James is not dead and will be back to create more havoc. LOL