Wednesday, June 24, 2015


Last week, on The Bold & the Beautiful, Liam married Ivy in order to keep her from being deported back to the horrors of Australia.

Forget that Ivy’s father is American, and she should be a dual citizen. (The show attempted to tap-dance around that by saying her flake of a dad – he is played by Fred Willard, after all – failed to fill out the proper paperwork.)

Forget that Ivy is a cousin of the mega-rich Forrester family, and working for their company, to boot, which means they should be able to get her an H-1B special talents visa by snapping their fingers – and throwing a bucket-load of money at the problem.

The important thing to focus on here is that Liam married Ivy, whom he’s been dating for months (see their romantic trip to Amsterdam), only to suddenly decide that he’s still in love with his ex-wife, Steffy. The same Steffy who, a few weeks ago, Liam was swearing he had no feelings for. But, you know, things change.

Currently, Ivy is swearing to Liam that she understands their marriage is merely a business relationship and that nothing has to change between them, while Steffy is ranting that she will not be Liam’s second choice (again), and wants nothing to do with him.


We’re all experienced soap viewers here. How long do we really expect those respective stances to last?

We’ve all seen our share of “business arrangement” daytime drama green-card marriages that turned into something else.

The most famous example is probably General Hospital’s Robert and Holly. Back in the 1980s (when all soaps were better, let’s have no arguments on that point), Holly’s love, Luke, was presumed dead in an avalanche (Luke’s love, Laura, had earlier been presumed dead after disappearing off a pier – neither death stuck). Holly was pregnant with Luke’s baby, and in danger of being deported back to England (a place obviously as horrible as Australia). Luke’s best-friend, Robert, nobly stood up and married Holly in order to keep her in the country, much to the dismay of his girlfriend, Jackie (played by Demi Moore; and we all know what happens when Demi Moore gets dismayed).

Holly lost Luke’s baby, but fell in love with her husband (overall a fair trade), only for Luke to return, alive. Munch angst ensued but, in the end, Holly chose Robert and, for many years, they were the prototypical example of that rare species: A happily married soap-couple who didn’t have children over whose paternity there was always a question, but, instead, chased criminals together, him as the Port Charles Police Commissioner, her as his unofficial helper. They even left town together to presumably live Happily Ever After. But, we know how that goes on soaps. (And if you don’t, click here for the depressing answer.)

So that was a green-card marriage gone right. (Luke didn’t mourn Holly for long, as Laura returned soon after, and the reunited couple moved on to their own aborted Happily Ever After.)

There are many more examples of a green-card marriage gone wrong.

Read all about those at Entertainment Weekly:

No comments: