SKATING WITH THE STARS: SERIOUSLY LAME EDITION
By Alina Adams

Jonny Moseley's routine sucked last night. To his credit, he's not the first skater to interpret a judge's suggestion to be more artistic as: Completely throw away everything that makes you interesting, unique and fun to watch in order to perform something that makes you boring, predictable, weak and look like everyone else. (Christopher Bowman, the late US Champion known for his fun, unpredictable style, made the same mistake when he left longtime coach Frank Carroll and turned to Canada's Toller Cranston, who tried to turn Chris into a dour, over-emoting carbon-copy of himself. Oh, and for reasons known only to Toller, also dyed Chris' hair jet black, so that he looked like Eddie Munster.)

But, while Jonny's routine sucked last night, it at least included some actual skating elements. Bethanny Frankel's did not. She was on two feet most of the time, which isn't technically skating. It's standing.

Meanwhile, Rebecca Budig did the exact same thing she does every week, only in a much prettier than usual dress. Oh, and it was fun to see her AMC cast-members in the audience.

Other that that... Horrible evening all around.

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Alina Adams is the author of the Figure Skating Murder Mystery series from Berkley Prime Crime, available on Amazon.com.